seeing clearly

I feel the tension, the suffering, the numbness; the ache of not being able to do more. it's real, it's a nightmare, a storm, a dream, a depth, a song, an adventure. Be prepared... I'm disappointed in my comfort zone... at the way life doesn't move except the occasional event or purchase. And that isn't always true. but, maybe it's the season. I crave the experience.. that I can't have right now. It just isn't enough. I knew that a few months ago and forgot about it, because I accepted I wasn't going, but there is nothing that compares to it. Nothing here, because it isn't touching God's heart like being there is.