April 14, 2011

crossing the rubicon


Through recent events and conviction, I am realizing how deeply we grieve God and the Holy Spirit by trivializing so much that they take seriously, by hesitating and not risking more often. There are so many blind places where my pride steps in and sees enough shots taken at an aspect of my life or a friendship, and says its no longer worthwhile or there are too many missing pieces the other person has contributed. if we miss the details, or write them off when we do see them, then how surrendered are we?
Recently I was praying the question what does it mean to love the cross? so many words could answer that... In a way it means that, if you picture a deep ocean, we draw treasures from it as we spend time in the pursuit, (Matthew 13:52) and we, through the Spirit's true conviction of how we must become more Christlike, also draw out darkness, fears, misconceptions from our souls that come to the surface as the refining occurs. I used to read that verse in Revelation and ask, what do I buy gold with? how? Maybe with opening my soul and heart. and not just partially.

In a way my hands are tied by pride, so ministering before the Lord (or however you want to describe it) is a tiny drop of love and not a pouring out of preciousness.

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