This is an excerpt from a June 2008 Journal entry when I was living in Israel.
God is refining me in relationships, habits and priorities. I'm being asked to persevere when it seems fruitless. I don't know why I am here. But it is about process, not the destination. As we were talking about counting the cost an hour before our house was vandalized, it is ironic but we never decide what it will cost us. God's will is often non negotiable. We don't understand its intricate working but I continue to come back to the truth that it is all rooted in love and nothing else.
Some truth is harder to experience, and find its equal application in the heart that it has in the mind. A lot of what challenges my expectations is about experiencing what I only 'know'. I don't mind being shaken so much when I can cling to the one shaking me.