June 15, 2012

chasing and making my own the love of...

Well it has been a long time since I last posted. Some busy times, some transition into quiet summer, where boredom awaits in some sense already. I had a deep revelation of the Father's heart and how much I crave it about a month ago. But since then I have heard nothing on how to stay connected to it or dive into it, seek Him more etc...  and I wonder if it is true that even with this I am more goal oriented than relationship oriented. It isn't possible to me to focus on the Father's heart as a goal and not a relationship. The goal is the Father's heart but it has to be accessed through relationship, and continually, not as a one time goal. Instead of wanting answers, I need to focus on the intimacy, but I thought that is what I was already doing. There has to be some other question I have not yet asked, some other subject to talk about that will open the door. It doesn't make sense that there is nothing now, no next step or place to stay at that is satisfying and filling.
I'm reading a lot about discernment & introverts, and that has relaxed me some about things people always tried to change about me.  I have a feeling this season is about relearning or new things that I didn't know how valuable they are until now. However, the deadness of the summer weeks can't continue... even if I'm an introvert I need some quality time each week or it gets so dull, even with good books to read.

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