September 18, 2012

Inertia

This is by far the most unusual season I have had in a long time.
I have a lot of contentment in it, but also know there are no tools for me to process this, and move forward to the next level. It feels very plateau-like, no paths to choose or places to plant myself. I no longer have a hunger to learn, but I know I need to experience the theory I already have, which is more tricky. The point was never to have a busy schedule but to have people and relationships I'm investing in. Nothing has come up that I can focus on or participate in, except hopefully my lessons- something challenging and enjoyable at the same time.  I continue to ask if there is anything I should do differently, or anything I missed... I want to know I'm doing enough, but I don't want to strive. Mostly this season doesn't surprise me, but doesn't feel totally right either. My heart is grieved by where I want to be, and I don't know if it's God's sovereignty doing some unknown work. Really craving clarity and seems like there are no resources left, just to stay in the word and stay encouraged, remembering to seek His face each hour and what I am called to intercede for.

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