Seeing the voice

"I turned around to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands..."

Dreams seem to come to fruition so slowly, while time goes by so fast, too fast.
I keep saying what I think I need to for my heart to be in the right place. And yet it is not. I think I'm saying yes and trusting but I still am discouraged more than I talk about, because I don't want to be judged. Nothing is refreshing me and snapping my mind back to reality. Hoping to keep reminding myself of good things and of how God sees me. I long for that voice, for that sensation of what is going on in the spirit realm again. I long for faith to feel real again even if there is spiritual warfare.