November 21, 2008

When words create worlds..

wait: to bind or twist together.

I thought it was time I wrote something new. This season has been complicated for me, and is really taking me apart. it is as though i had picked up the oars and was rowing happily and now I am starting over, drowning in the water while finding new ways to deal with things that were not truly dealt with. I've had various storms recently, and in short everything was the opposite of what I expected. and this challenged my faith, my self confidence. but sometimes storms take you to higher dimensions of the kingdom. But it is true that we will each be tested in life. even if there are times that go smoother than others. what worked before has to be thrown out. old strategies have to be fitted with new paradigms. Relationships that seemed secure are draining my life. Anchors of who I was have to be lifted out. A fresh desperation is good, new perspective is vital.
I've realized there is a huge amount of freedom for me to gain if I can walk this out. If I pass this test of character and influence, cut off unhealthy relationships, even when the need isn't met elsewhere. It feels a lot like the 11th hour, and even knowing waiting is an attitude of heart, patience is hard to stir up. Leaving old security is daunting when you realize there wasn't freedom in it to begin with.

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