September 05, 2009

our words reflect our heart.

A summary post of August... since I was too busy to post til now.

Much of the last 6 weeks or so I've been in transition, work wise and heart wise, etc- and my back was injured. it is doing better, I hope it stays. It was precious to go back to one of my favorite childhood places at the beginning of August. I've been refreshed, and realigned from a course I took and from reading Visions Beyond the Veil and a book on dance. My attitudes and heart and reactions have changed a lot through not understanding recent happenings, and longing for resolution and restoration. I have seen neither but God answers a thirsty heart.
Be authentic. That, like love, is crucial and all other things are worthless without it. This season has been about laying down needing explanations and defenses, learning not to regret. The hardest place to forgive is often myself. I've seen a lot of mercy lately... but also there are many I don't know who need deeper mercy. It creates a foundation for these new things. Also, many people including myself are in transition ("a change in course from one key to another") .... which is good and special that we are being prepared, and trusting God is good during transition. It is easy to feel denied; changes or idols can remove things that I felt did not need to change. But, it is said that restored relationships are stronger than before. I know I go thru seasons of trying to do everything right. God says "take care of your messes and I'll take care of your heart."

I learn to trust within uncertainty; when there is only mystery. Change can bring us into a deeper safety than we ever had with that person or place.
"what passion hangs on my tongue that I cannot speak?"

"Our inner restlessness can only be pacified by the revelation of God's eternal friendship and love for us."

what are you being called to do? what is your excuse?
part of serving God is criticism and failure.

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