April 03, 2012

Closure

Four men I know (or related to friends) have died recently, all fathers.

Why? Why before their time? Maybe it is their time, and I just don't see God's timing. Or, if it is only the enemy who steals, kills and destroys then this wasn't God's will for them to die.  I don't want to see it, I don't want to feel the pain of death with the depth of love; people who weren't close to me for the most part, whose death I feel the weight of upon me, and I can't get it off.
What is it about Fathers right now? Don't we need them more than ever in this broken generation, in all generations... now that the fathers are turning their hearts back to the children and vice versa... I need fathers in my life, and that strength they bring. These ones are gone, I can't ask questions of one of them, or see him again. I would love some insight on this, to understand why. The death that occurred on Monday was the person closest to me, and the day after we had a party honoring another man, Bruce, on his birthday. Something taken out of turn, too soon. I hate the feeling of not knowing when what's most precious will be taken away. Am I allowed to love those who are left? I hope my heart doesn't become hard to those relationships I want more of, and I feel they are elusive now because of this.

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