April 10, 2012

Lost time

I am definitely addicted to dystopian fiction now. However after two books and one movie, it became really clear to me that the central piece of all of them is control. The government, society, family, all of it is controlled by something so different from first world country living in the last 50 years. And maybe that is why it's fascinating, addictive. Maybe we all have that longing for knowing the future, which is why prophecy is so powerful, and of course because it communicates the love of God. But the reality of being controlled is so powerful, and subconscious in these books. It reminds me of how controlled I felt growing up and a rebellion inward didn't take me far, except to release the pain. Any kind of control causes pain... and the undercurrent of desperation for freedom doesn't get talked about until one tastes the possibility. I don't think there is anything more valuable than living in freedom.

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
my heart) i am never without it (anywhere
i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)
                                  i fear
no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want
no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

-poem by e e cummings

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